Sleepless nights a past near future mentality

ever felt the undisclosed desire of fitting in?

ever caught yourself pretending or be willing to?

ever though of yourself doing things? acting as you would like to? as if..no one is watching??

or even worse, as if you wouldn’t watch or remember?

That’s it. Stop now.

Stop reading this if you don’t know already what i mean.

Cause if you don’t, i barely believe you ever will.

And one thing that i’m sure about is that: i am not willing, if not capable, on teaching such a thing.

That’s a thing no one will teach to you. Nor to me.

No one. To Anybody. Ever.

Shame, social shame. It’s nothing you’ll ever talk about.

Not in public. Not with your such called friends. Not in your head.

Not even in your own fucking head.

Or you will..         from now on?

                            five years ago?

                           since ever?

                           never?

I’m not the one that would care for an answer. Not the one to give any.

You are.

(This is a letter i will read as if i’m not the author. As if is talking to me and not from me.)